Never too old to say you're sorry

I was reminded Friday night that I should always be able to tell my kids (and my spouse, but this time it was Emma Grace) that I am sorry. We can never be too big or too old to model for our children what it is that we hope they will learn and practice. I was convicted by the Holy Spirit to confess to Emma Grace that mommy lost her temper at bedtime--she was basically prolonging bedtime with "I need to go potty....I need a drink....I want to go weigh AGAIN....I need some shorts and not these long pants....I want to read the story this time (after I had already read it)." On average, this usually happens when I put her to bed, never when Jason puts her to bed. So I had already prepped both her and her daddy that if she "played" that night, then I'd walk out the bedroom door and it would be daddy's turn. I don't play at night; bedtime is bedtime. I will not be manipulated by a 4 year old...some parents allow their kids to manipulate every night and discipline with the counting to 3 or 10 or whatever method. Not me. Obey the first time or it's a spanking. Spare the rod and spoil the child. No thanks.

So, upon us having snuggle time, Emma Grace thought it would work to grab my neck and hold me in the bed while whining about how she "needs" this or that. So I had had enough and put my hands on her shoulders, looked her square in the face and lightly shook her (I know, it sounds a lot worse than it was...her head and shoulders didn't leave the bed). I knew I had to leave the room or I might grab the spanking spoon and it would not be a peaceful goodnight experience. I told her I was going to get her daddy and HE could finish putting her to bed!

Five minutes later I felt horrible..it was mainly the look of fright in her eyes that mommy was about to explode that I knew I didn't want the sun to go down with these feelings. I didn't care if she might already be asleep, but I wanted her to always know that my mommy practices what she preaches and she is able to say sorry when she's behaved wrongly. So I went back in her dark room and she wasn't moving. Even after saying her name lightly she didn't move. So I touched her on the arm and said her name again. Then she turned her head toward me and I could tell she had already dozed off! But I went ahead and told her I was sorry for shaking her and for losing my temper. I told her that I still didn't like when she wasted time at bedtime but that I shouldn't have gotten so angry at her. She hugged me and said she still loved me! I told her I always love her no matter what (that's our saying) and asked her to please forgive mommy. She said she does forgive me, so I could then go to bed knowing I had responded to the Holy Spirit and my soul was clean. What an awesome feeling! The truth really does set us free! As Christians, we are free to obey...free to live the life God has called us to. Praise Him for making us in His image!