#3 not on the way

The answer to the burning question is NO...negative!! Praise the Lord! I had been having symptoms of pregnancy in the last couple of weeks even though I am on the low dose of birth control, but now I know the answer is no...I took a test at 5am this morning to be sure. The good Lord knows I couldn't handle a 4 year old, a 17 month old, and a newborn! Last night in the chaos of getting kids to bed at 10:45pm (long story I wish to not relive!), I was still a bit scared of WHAT IF?! I know during intense, stressful times like last night that our family is not meant to expand to 5. Not unless you all want to visit me at the psych ward! And Jason would be the next one on the psych ward b/c he couldn't handle 3 children by himself either. That was evident last night as well. :) Love him to pieces, but men just don't do crying children any time of the day, much less 10:30pm! I was able to record the fiasco on video (part of it anyway) just for my sanity and to remind us all of how stressful having 2 crying/temper tantrum kids can be. Furthermore, I had to find some humor and laughter or I would have headed out the door to take a joyride til morning. Well, it's all over now and we're better for having lived through it. As my mom would say, "This too shall pass!" It did, mom, and I am oh, so THANKFUL that there isn't another one on the way to add to the mix. Lord, teach me, show me today that children truly are blessings from Your hand in some way. I need that reassurance and reminding. :) I know it in my head, but I need to feel it in my heart.

Less than two weeks and counting

I am just so excited to be going away with my husband for an entire weekend in less than two weeks. I mean Friday through Sunday!!! WOO HOO! We're going to spend Valentine's weekend in either the mountains of Table Rock (do have reservations for a cabin, but really hate to put a vacation on credit! and it's only $69/night, but even that I hate to do when we are about out of diapers and wonder where they'll come from) or down in Charleston at a relative's second home (which is the better option since it's free!). We just have to have time away by ourselves, so I had to go and make reservations in case the Charleston house is still under remodeling! Just too important!!

As I stated in a previous post, it's been since July 2007 that we've been away even one night without the kid(s). Is this normal for couples to not have time for each other? It's ridiculous in my opinion. Aren't marriages THAT important? If I remember correctly, it's supposed to be God as first priority, marriage as second priority, and kids as the third priority. So where did most of America fall off the train? More importantly, where did most Christians fall off the train? That's the question...and why aren't churches doing a better job of focusing on marriages and battling against the forces wanting to destroy marriages?! I don't mean just young couples...I mean older ones too.

I thought it was interesting that we watched the movie Fireproof again on Friday (it's out on rental now and I HIGHLY recommend it to all married couples and those who want to one day get married!), and after it was all over we were discussing its relevance to couples and Christian couples more importantly. My father-in-law says, "I think all young couples wanting to get married and the younger married folks should see that movie!" Again, I interjected that I thought the young married AND old married couples alike should see it...the devil isn't just interested in us young folk! He's breaking up well established marriages of 30 years or more!! It was just as much about how the older generation is to pass on their godly wisdom to the younger generation...the Bible clearly tells the older women to advise the younger women in matters. And it was a movie where the older couple was about to break up too, but was saved by the Love Dare (I won't spoil the whole movie for those of you who haven't seen it yet). I've seen it too many times lately where the parents invest all their time on their kids for 18+ years and then when the last one moves out they look at each other and say, "Who is this I married?"

Anyway, that's my soap box today---don't get stale in your marriage...do whatever it takes to keep the committment there, the love there, the devotion. And if you or your spouse doesn't know the love of God, His saving love that loves you even when you did not deserve it, please know that until you surrender to Him, your marriage cannot work. It's hard enough with two sinners saved by grace who submit to His guidance and leadership; I can't even imagine trying to sustain a marriage with two sinners who plod around in selfishness all the while thinking they are the ones who have to hold it all together. You cannot do it. And with that, I will go think about the wonderful weekend ahead and how to rekindle that love with MY man. :) XXX OOO

Never too old to say you're sorry

I was reminded Friday night that I should always be able to tell my kids (and my spouse, but this time it was Emma Grace) that I am sorry. We can never be too big or too old to model for our children what it is that we hope they will learn and practice. I was convicted by the Holy Spirit to confess to Emma Grace that mommy lost her temper at bedtime--she was basically prolonging bedtime with "I need to go potty....I need a drink....I want to go weigh AGAIN....I need some shorts and not these long pants....I want to read the story this time (after I had already read it)." On average, this usually happens when I put her to bed, never when Jason puts her to bed. So I had already prepped both her and her daddy that if she "played" that night, then I'd walk out the bedroom door and it would be daddy's turn. I don't play at night; bedtime is bedtime. I will not be manipulated by a 4 year old...some parents allow their kids to manipulate every night and discipline with the counting to 3 or 10 or whatever method. Not me. Obey the first time or it's a spanking. Spare the rod and spoil the child. No thanks.

So, upon us having snuggle time, Emma Grace thought it would work to grab my neck and hold me in the bed while whining about how she "needs" this or that. So I had had enough and put my hands on her shoulders, looked her square in the face and lightly shook her (I know, it sounds a lot worse than it was...her head and shoulders didn't leave the bed). I knew I had to leave the room or I might grab the spanking spoon and it would not be a peaceful goodnight experience. I told her I was going to get her daddy and HE could finish putting her to bed!

Five minutes later I felt horrible..it was mainly the look of fright in her eyes that mommy was about to explode that I knew I didn't want the sun to go down with these feelings. I didn't care if she might already be asleep, but I wanted her to always know that my mommy practices what she preaches and she is able to say sorry when she's behaved wrongly. So I went back in her dark room and she wasn't moving. Even after saying her name lightly she didn't move. So I touched her on the arm and said her name again. Then she turned her head toward me and I could tell she had already dozed off! But I went ahead and told her I was sorry for shaking her and for losing my temper. I told her that I still didn't like when she wasted time at bedtime but that I shouldn't have gotten so angry at her. She hugged me and said she still loved me! I told her I always love her no matter what (that's our saying) and asked her to please forgive mommy. She said she does forgive me, so I could then go to bed knowing I had responded to the Holy Spirit and my soul was clean. What an awesome feeling! The truth really does set us free! As Christians, we are free to obey...free to live the life God has called us to. Praise Him for making us in His image!

I'm being heard

Emma Grace has been saying some really cute and funny things today while "teaching" her class or while dealing with her "baby" Laura. I want to remember them in the days and years to come....

"Olivia, if you don't come right now I will call your momma. Did you hear me? Read my lips..." (and she said it with a calm tone and demeanor, so I am not worried that I know those things came out of my mouth at one time or another).

"Laura, now you know things don't happen your way. That's just the way it is. You have to be ready to change." (FUNNNNY! At least it's sinking in...now I just have to be sure to remind her that it is God who plans our steps...was waiting for that to come out next.)

Our First Snow!!

We had a good time enjoying the inch or so of snow we got here in Winnsboro! Enjoy the pics!!

Learning through Experience

Last night we had some friends over for supper and fellowship. We played a round of Sequence (Daniel and Callie won the best 2 out of 3) and just generally chatted about anything under the sun. Yesterday I also got to spend time with my friend Tracy from Longleaf, which meant a great deal to me. Tracy is overcoming breast cancer, and she has so much to impart to me in even just going through the last 4 months (she found out in Sept.). I guess last night while spending time with such a young couple (well, Callie is young in age---Daniel is 30 I think, but they were recently engaged and will marry in June), I realized that there are so many things I want to impart to them. I would like to give them the knowlege and tools necessary for what they will experience in the years to come. But that is not possible. Only God can do that. You know how you want to tell your kids what to do and what not to do so they don't have to stumble and fall or get hurt in any way (emotionally, physically, etc.)...it was the same way with my wanting to tell them what to do and how to have such a wonderful marriage through what we have experienced. And truly it has been a WONDERFUL 8 1/2 years!

I am just so refreshed having spent time with a "new" couple and especially ones who will be living right here in Lebanon and being a part of our church (well, they are working out the details of that right now since Callie plays the piano at another local church but they know they cannot attend 2 different churches). It's good to know that God is working and moving right here in our little community. It's also good to rest in the knowlege that God will lead them through those experiences in life together and that I am not responsible for telling them everything they are to know. Yes, they will have marriage counseling up until they get married (usually 6 months I think, but theirs doesn't allow for 6 months), but even that won't teach them everything life will bring their way. They must do as we all do....learn through experience. Bathing it in prayer will be the best thing Jason and I can do and that they can do themselves. :) Funny how Tracy was imparting things to me without my really knowing it and how we were probably imparting things to Daniel and Callie last night, but I guess we don't truly know how it all will go until we walk a mile in someone else's shoes. May we have His faith, confidence, peace, and love through it all no matter what circumstances in life befall us.

Is it busyness we're looking for?

I have to ask in times like these when the schedule seems to add one thing at a time until it comes to look full and busy, it is busyness we're looking for? Are we just about one program after another, one practice or sport after another, almost a hamster on a wheel just spinning, spinning, spinning? I know too many moms both SAHMs and those who work outside the home who just seem to flit from one activity to another with their kids without really knowing why they are doing all this and truly not being the ones to spend time with their kids. Let's just pay someone else to kick the soccer ball with Johnny. Admitedly, I would not be the one to teach Emma Grace ballet moves, but should I try to get her in this lesson or that lesson or this sport or that sport all while she's 4 years old?

I, too, am tempted to try to stuff things/opportunities for Emma Grace into her schedule. Thankfully, living out in the country brings some barriers which may not altogether be bad...can't just hop on over to gymnastics practice or drop Jase off (one day) to karate right up the road. It takes planning when you live near cows unless you want to spend an entire day in the car with the kids. NOT!! So I will say there has been protection from too much overplanning--by the grace of God. I will also add that I think we can overplan our kids in our church programs. We're starting back the Pioneers Club (Wed. for kids) at our church tonight and also at the same time starting back a Moms in Touch International (MITI) tonight during that same hour. I might add that our church generally has activities each night for some group or another--pretty active little church (I say little in that we probably have 250 members and 100 on any Sunday). Here's how a typical week goes/went for us:
Sunday: 9:30-Singing time
9:45-Sunday School for ALL ages
11:00-Worship
6:00-Evening praise and worship (testimony, prayer, song) & the kids have
Club KICK
Monday: 7:00pm First Monday every month--Circle (ladies only)
7:00pm Third Monday every month--Women in the Church (WIC) for Karen
7:30pm--Men's Bible Study
4th Monday every month--Session/Elders meeting (Jason only)
Wednesday: 6:30pm--Pioneers Club
6:30pm--MITI
Thursday: 6:30pm--Discipleship group (Moms and dads)
7:30 First Thursday every month--Christian Education Committee (Karen)
Saturday: 6:30pm--Fellowship time/supper for discipleship group at Danny & Lily's

We just finished nearly 2 years of discipleship lessons, which we met every Thursday, so now we do have that night open. But can you see how a person can become over-committed and not leave time for family time and having a "normal" schedule including a sit down dinner with family at home?? I am just not willing to sacrifice that special family time for busyness. I just want to also add that I am oh so thankful to have a wonderful husband who thinks family time is a priority. He knows that he must have a job where we can eat together as a family, worship together as a family, play together as a family, vacation together as a family, etc. He's not willing to compromise anything in place of those things...even making money. Praise be to God! I am oh so thankful for him and that he has been able to find M-F or M-R daytime work in the 8 years we've been married. God is so good to our family!