Never too old to say you're sorry

I was reminded Friday night that I should always be able to tell my kids (and my spouse, but this time it was Emma Grace) that I am sorry. We can never be too big or too old to model for our children what it is that we hope they will learn and practice. I was convicted by the Holy Spirit to confess to Emma Grace that mommy lost her temper at bedtime--she was basically prolonging bedtime with "I need to go potty....I need a drink....I want to go weigh AGAIN....I need some shorts and not these long pants....I want to read the story this time (after I had already read it)." On average, this usually happens when I put her to bed, never when Jason puts her to bed. So I had already prepped both her and her daddy that if she "played" that night, then I'd walk out the bedroom door and it would be daddy's turn. I don't play at night; bedtime is bedtime. I will not be manipulated by a 4 year old...some parents allow their kids to manipulate every night and discipline with the counting to 3 or 10 or whatever method. Not me. Obey the first time or it's a spanking. Spare the rod and spoil the child. No thanks.

So, upon us having snuggle time, Emma Grace thought it would work to grab my neck and hold me in the bed while whining about how she "needs" this or that. So I had had enough and put my hands on her shoulders, looked her square in the face and lightly shook her (I know, it sounds a lot worse than it was...her head and shoulders didn't leave the bed). I knew I had to leave the room or I might grab the spanking spoon and it would not be a peaceful goodnight experience. I told her I was going to get her daddy and HE could finish putting her to bed!

Five minutes later I felt horrible..it was mainly the look of fright in her eyes that mommy was about to explode that I knew I didn't want the sun to go down with these feelings. I didn't care if she might already be asleep, but I wanted her to always know that my mommy practices what she preaches and she is able to say sorry when she's behaved wrongly. So I went back in her dark room and she wasn't moving. Even after saying her name lightly she didn't move. So I touched her on the arm and said her name again. Then she turned her head toward me and I could tell she had already dozed off! But I went ahead and told her I was sorry for shaking her and for losing my temper. I told her that I still didn't like when she wasted time at bedtime but that I shouldn't have gotten so angry at her. She hugged me and said she still loved me! I told her I always love her no matter what (that's our saying) and asked her to please forgive mommy. She said she does forgive me, so I could then go to bed knowing I had responded to the Holy Spirit and my soul was clean. What an awesome feeling! The truth really does set us free! As Christians, we are free to obey...free to live the life God has called us to. Praise Him for making us in His image!

I'm being heard

Emma Grace has been saying some really cute and funny things today while "teaching" her class or while dealing with her "baby" Laura. I want to remember them in the days and years to come....

"Olivia, if you don't come right now I will call your momma. Did you hear me? Read my lips..." (and she said it with a calm tone and demeanor, so I am not worried that I know those things came out of my mouth at one time or another).

"Laura, now you know things don't happen your way. That's just the way it is. You have to be ready to change." (FUNNNNY! At least it's sinking in...now I just have to be sure to remind her that it is God who plans our steps...was waiting for that to come out next.)

Our First Snow!!

We had a good time enjoying the inch or so of snow we got here in Winnsboro! Enjoy the pics!!

Learning through Experience

Last night we had some friends over for supper and fellowship. We played a round of Sequence (Daniel and Callie won the best 2 out of 3) and just generally chatted about anything under the sun. Yesterday I also got to spend time with my friend Tracy from Longleaf, which meant a great deal to me. Tracy is overcoming breast cancer, and she has so much to impart to me in even just going through the last 4 months (she found out in Sept.). I guess last night while spending time with such a young couple (well, Callie is young in age---Daniel is 30 I think, but they were recently engaged and will marry in June), I realized that there are so many things I want to impart to them. I would like to give them the knowlege and tools necessary for what they will experience in the years to come. But that is not possible. Only God can do that. You know how you want to tell your kids what to do and what not to do so they don't have to stumble and fall or get hurt in any way (emotionally, physically, etc.)...it was the same way with my wanting to tell them what to do and how to have such a wonderful marriage through what we have experienced. And truly it has been a WONDERFUL 8 1/2 years!

I am just so refreshed having spent time with a "new" couple and especially ones who will be living right here in Lebanon and being a part of our church (well, they are working out the details of that right now since Callie plays the piano at another local church but they know they cannot attend 2 different churches). It's good to know that God is working and moving right here in our little community. It's also good to rest in the knowlege that God will lead them through those experiences in life together and that I am not responsible for telling them everything they are to know. Yes, they will have marriage counseling up until they get married (usually 6 months I think, but theirs doesn't allow for 6 months), but even that won't teach them everything life will bring their way. They must do as we all do....learn through experience. Bathing it in prayer will be the best thing Jason and I can do and that they can do themselves. :) Funny how Tracy was imparting things to me without my really knowing it and how we were probably imparting things to Daniel and Callie last night, but I guess we don't truly know how it all will go until we walk a mile in someone else's shoes. May we have His faith, confidence, peace, and love through it all no matter what circumstances in life befall us.

Is it busyness we're looking for?

I have to ask in times like these when the schedule seems to add one thing at a time until it comes to look full and busy, it is busyness we're looking for? Are we just about one program after another, one practice or sport after another, almost a hamster on a wheel just spinning, spinning, spinning? I know too many moms both SAHMs and those who work outside the home who just seem to flit from one activity to another with their kids without really knowing why they are doing all this and truly not being the ones to spend time with their kids. Let's just pay someone else to kick the soccer ball with Johnny. Admitedly, I would not be the one to teach Emma Grace ballet moves, but should I try to get her in this lesson or that lesson or this sport or that sport all while she's 4 years old?

I, too, am tempted to try to stuff things/opportunities for Emma Grace into her schedule. Thankfully, living out in the country brings some barriers which may not altogether be bad...can't just hop on over to gymnastics practice or drop Jase off (one day) to karate right up the road. It takes planning when you live near cows unless you want to spend an entire day in the car with the kids. NOT!! So I will say there has been protection from too much overplanning--by the grace of God. I will also add that I think we can overplan our kids in our church programs. We're starting back the Pioneers Club (Wed. for kids) at our church tonight and also at the same time starting back a Moms in Touch International (MITI) tonight during that same hour. I might add that our church generally has activities each night for some group or another--pretty active little church (I say little in that we probably have 250 members and 100 on any Sunday). Here's how a typical week goes/went for us:
Sunday: 9:30-Singing time
9:45-Sunday School for ALL ages
11:00-Worship
6:00-Evening praise and worship (testimony, prayer, song) & the kids have
Club KICK
Monday: 7:00pm First Monday every month--Circle (ladies only)
7:00pm Third Monday every month--Women in the Church (WIC) for Karen
7:30pm--Men's Bible Study
4th Monday every month--Session/Elders meeting (Jason only)
Wednesday: 6:30pm--Pioneers Club
6:30pm--MITI
Thursday: 6:30pm--Discipleship group (Moms and dads)
7:30 First Thursday every month--Christian Education Committee (Karen)
Saturday: 6:30pm--Fellowship time/supper for discipleship group at Danny & Lily's

We just finished nearly 2 years of discipleship lessons, which we met every Thursday, so now we do have that night open. But can you see how a person can become over-committed and not leave time for family time and having a "normal" schedule including a sit down dinner with family at home?? I am just not willing to sacrifice that special family time for busyness. I just want to also add that I am oh so thankful to have a wonderful husband who thinks family time is a priority. He knows that he must have a job where we can eat together as a family, worship together as a family, play together as a family, vacation together as a family, etc. He's not willing to compromise anything in place of those things...even making money. Praise be to God! I am oh so thankful for him and that he has been able to find M-F or M-R daytime work in the 8 years we've been married. God is so good to our family!

Too Many Choices

There are several decisions our family is facing lately. I'll just share a few of them with you and you can pray with us or not.

1.)Will I send Emma Grace to Mom's Morning Out at the Methodist Church in town at all? This involves spending money ($65.00/month for T/R & $32.50/month for either T or R). There is a space open that we have been offered, but money is lacking...that money tree in the backyard just won't grow!

2.) Will I begin tutoring for Fairfield County Schools on Fridays when Jason is off and he can be our only source of reliable free childcare. This will bring in around $600/month and will give me time to be out in the world and keep my resume up in case I one day want to go back into schools.

3.) Will I order a homeschool curriculum for Emma Grace to begin preschool at home with me? If so, which curriculum? Again, this involves money of which we are lacking. I am highly leaning toward the Sonlight Curriculum (about $400). If anyone has ideas of things you've used that have worked for preschool, please let me know.

4.) Will we EVER get a weekend away in the mountains by ourselves? (or anywhere for that matter as long as we don't have to pay $100 to stay there!) Every place we have looked at so far that any of our friends own is either being renovated or is not available or other various reasons, and quite honestly we're getting a little disgruntled that it might never occur. We've been trying to get away since our anniversary this past July (and haven't been away for even an overnight by ourselves since before the baby was born in May 2008 that I know for sure---probably back to the summer of 2007 when I was not yet pregnant with Jase and we went to Myrtle Beach that summer by ourselves). As you can see, we are LONG OVERDUE for some marriage rebonding time. If anyone knows of someone who would donate their mountain lodge/cabin for a weekend stay for this beckoning couple, please let me know. We'd be willing to pay the utilities at least and drop a love offering on the table as thanks! Think of it as a ministry opportunity b/c that is truly what it will be for us. We are not stuck on the mountains---anywhere that we can go be alone is a viable option! :)

5.) Can we start a Weight Watchers group at our church? I really want to see this take wheels and go! I need it to be a go! I just cannot travel to Columbia 30 miles away once a week to attend the meetings. I believe there are people (some of whom are reading this blog) at my church who currently do go all the way to Columbia for WW and would benefit from us starting one here locally and others who I know resolved to lose weight this year and some who already count the points as if they were on WW. But we need about 10 people at least to get it going. Would you be willing? Get in touch with me if you would!! My email is kdpope2000@hotmail.com

Is it good to even make a New Year's Resolution?

O.K. We've all been there before and I really wonder how many people stick with what they say they are going to do all year? Not just a month or two months or even three months but all year? I guess if I HAVE to make a resolution for 2009 it would be that I need to get serious about making my eating habits ones for a LIFETIME. I need to have a body that does not fluctuate between 20-30 pounds difference. That's a very hard one to stick by on a limited budget first of all and secondly since I am a mom of two little ones who are not exactly the type who will go for the veggie or fruit above all else. Jase eats just whatever I give him...he loves all foods! There is nothing he will turn down so far. Emma Grace likes most of your main line veggies like corn, blackeyed peas, squash, peas, green beans, carrots (if fixed a certain way), fresh tomatoes, salad (ate three plates at Christmas dinner), etc. Not big on collards, asparagus, fresh celery and what I call "hard line/weird" veggies. Also not big on fruits unless they come in a cup from the store. I bought 2 apples over 2 weeks ago and they went rotten on the counter. She will eat fresh grapes, orange wedges in a cup, applesauce, peaches in a cup, etc.

So it will be difficult to buy groceries to please and feed my family. Then there's the "other issue"....giving up the easy chocolate here and there. It's sort of like comfort food. Call it my addiction, if you will. My secret (or not so secret) love affair with chocolate. A few Hershey kisses here or there, a Reese's miniature here or there. A piece of birthday cake here or there. Guess it just adds up and I need to give it up. May have to start counting points with my Weight Watcher's book again. Whew, that'll be hard!

So here I am rationalizing why I don't need a resolution. See why these things never work from the get-go?! Well, I'll at least vow to try and not eat seconds at any meal. No second bowl of Special K, no second helping at my MIL's, no eating what's left on Emma Grace's plate (moms are famous for that!). As Jason says, "It's called the pushback method...push back from the table." I guess the key is when you feel you are slightly satisfied...not FULL...not stuffed....just enough to nourish your body so you can keep on going. Lord, give me the strength to just keep on going and to be persistent....this is YOUR TEMPLE. Your Holy Spirit dwells in me and I need to understand how it grieves Him when I abuse my body and gorge it. That's not what He designed food for.