How Much is TOO MUCH?

I have gotten a lot of comments today on my Faceb*ok status update and I felt the urge to write more about that on my blog today.

I first want you all to be aware that I am not against celebrating the accomplishments of ourselves or our children. But, being a counselor professionally, and a responsible Christian parent, I feel that we must raise our children to be children and focus on praising them just as much for their growth in the Lord as we do for their worldly accomplishments.

Here is what I mean...

Each year in school did we all not have "end of year parties" and rejoice that we had gone 180 days and successfully completed all of our work and learned all of the necessary skills for our particular age? As we exited elementary & middle school, the celebration may have been a little bigger and grade-wide. There were songs, works of art, nice sunday dresses, a cake square or two, etc.

Then why do we, as a society, feel the need to make our children grow up as miniature adults? Why must we force a 4 year old to wear a cap and gown? Do they not have time for that yet to come? The bottom line is children learn within the parameters you have set up for them. If you allow them to experiment with makeup and stress beauty in your home, then they learn that. If you stress having material things, then they expect that as adults themselves. If you stress creative learning versus always being entertained by the boob tube from the time they are out of the womb, then why are we surprised when our children are bored in school and having difficulty? There's no three ring circus there to occupy their time.

If we buy them heels, "It's all about me" t-shirts, and revealing clothing as the parent when they are 7, 8, 9, then it is only multiplied in consequences that we can see as parents years down the road. It's a sad state of affairs what we are in essence "doing" to our children. They didn't ask for this.

I have seen kids with ears pierced as infants, wearing heels as 3 year olds, doing the shimmy in their dance costume as toddlers and we as parents call it "cute". Oh isn't she "cute"?!

I like to have fun, too, but I think it would be prudent for us as Christian parents to step back and look at what example we are providing for our children.

My friend Catherine has on her FB profile a quote I love, "Be who you desire your children to become."

I daily remind myself to *think* before I act. When the news was on tonight, I asked myself if I should be watching this in front of my kids? While preparing their dinner time drink, I reminded myself that they have had plenty of juice today and needed milk for dinner. It was a conscious decision...not rushed or in the moment. Those are just two examples from today.

Am I claiming how perfect a parent I am, IN NO WAY! I have FAR to go!!

This just happens to be my medium, my way to get out all that is going on in my head. Maybe it's the counselor in me, or simply the urge, the pull, the tug on my heart to share these things with other parents like me who feel like I do too.

This just happens to be the time of year when it seems I shake my head the most and pray for parents all across the nation and world. It's a hard job that requires deliberate actions. Some parents have obviously felt I have hit a nerve lately, as seen on FB comments. What other reason would they have for such negative, rude, demeaning comments?

I pray that we would all want to consider how we can spur our children on toward love for the Savior & how they can glorify God when they one day (hopefully at an early age) come to know Him. It won't be how many degrees they have or what job they have or how big their house is or what their parents let them "get away with". God has only loaned these children to us, and it is up to us to "train them up in the way they should go so that when they are old they will not depart from it."