Can we say "formula"?

Is it just me, or is my milk production slowing down? For those of you who do not know, Jase did not latch on to my satisfaction and comfort, and he was on a bilibed at home for his jaundiceness (is that a word?) caused by his ABO blood type incompatibility (not the same as mine for those of us not in the medical field) the first week or week and half of his life. Needless to say, I had nursed EG for 14 months and thought it would be a piece of cake. I guess I just became too easily frustrated this time and decided to use this here pump I have borrowed from Leanne again. So I have been just bursting at the seams most of the time, especially from my right side. (O.K. any men out there, you can go ahead and say TMI and log off now). Well, the right side was the one that caused so much problem the first 4 weeks as I had mastitis in it twice already in June and beginnings of it again in July. Just this week red, tender spots came out on the left side when he has slept past 3:30am twice this week (you'd think I'd be happy about that, but my breasts do not thank me). Now the left side is the one only squeezing (literally I sit and SQUEEZE it) out an ounce or two or maybe, just maybe 3 oz. if I drink plenty of water after a good mexican meal! I think I've skirted past having it a 3rd time just by using a hot pad and some tylenol for pain and chills. Praise God from whom all blessings flow!

But now the issue is, "Do I have enough milk to keep up with Jase?" I have about 86 bags in the freezer, but at 6 oz. a bottle and 6 or 7 bottles a day, that won't last long, should I go cold turkey. So I am thinking I'll just keep doing what I'm doing and as Elisabeth Elliott says, "Do the next thing." That is until my milk is nearly gone and then I'll start mixing what's in the freezer with a bit of formula until it begins to be all formula. I have 4 cans of formula that came in the mail back when I was pregnant, and they have a shelf life until Jan 2010. I know that won't last too long either, so you all can pray that the formula will hopefully not be an issue. With my not working this year, formula has not been written in the budget, so formula will be a total trust issue (isn't all of life a trust issue--don't know why I wrote that). It's been amazing, though, how even diapers have been pretty well taken care of by sweet ones in our church family and we have not had to buy even one pack of diapers so far. God is SO GOOD!

I also want to add a sweet conversation that happened last night and continued today with Emma Grace. I was brushing her teeth last night and also letting her do it (that's the big thing now--I can do it!) and I don't remember what sparked the conversation, but it made her say, "Momma, you broke my heart." It was the saddest thing. I actually thought it was funny at the time and laughed but then today she said it again when I told her I needed the recliner to pump and she asked me to sit on the floor and I told her mommy's back hurt and I really needed to sit in the chair beside the pump and not on the floor. Not wanting to move, I told her she could move now to the couch, the floor, or her blue chair or.....receive a spanking as I move her myself. Needless to say she moved and I did not have to spank, but she reminded me that I wasn't nice and that I broke her heart. So I really wanted to know who had said those words before for her to keep repeating them and she said, "Bibbi says that when she's sad." Bibbi is my mother-in-love (Jason's mom who happens to live next door with Papa Jeep, his dad). Well, then I asked her if I needed to glue her heart back together and she said, "No, because Jesus lives in our heart and he takes care of our hearts." Well, by golly, she has been listening! Then she went on to say that Jesus is everywhere even though we can't see Him. So I of course called Bibbi and told her that this sweet granddaughter of hers is listening to every word she says. I also should have reminded her that she hears when she says in passing something about "Ripping their head off" or something about doing something to your head (my memory is bad--I can't even remember when the last bottle was---that's why I write it all down on the dry erase board!). Well, I think that's all for now.